My world changed significantly on November 12th, 2016. At 6:00 that morning I finally took the pregnancy test I had purchased the day before. My period was now 2 weeks late so I figured I might as well rule out this possiblity so that I could then focus on what really might be wrong.
I was in no hurry to see the results, quite certain it would be negative anyway. My husband had a vasectomy 9 years ago after all. I had left the test on my dresser, got back into my warm bed to sleep for a couple more hours when a voice in my head clearly said, "You better check that test". I got out of the bed and set it on my night table. I turned by phone on for a bit of light and then took a peek.
Two lines.... How the heck could there be two lines? I actually picked up the box and doubled checked thinking that maybe this cheap dollar store test had two lines mean that you weren't pregnant. Ha! Nope, I was pregnant all right. I then proceed to call out my husbands name, startling him out of his slumber, to tell him the news. The journey of this new part of my life began that morning and it has already been quite a ride.
One of the things that was most challenging was that I selfishly mourned the loss of the me I had just become accustomed to. I finally felt that I had reclaimed the part of me that seemed to get lost along the way as I took on the role of wife, mother, employee, etc.
I loved my business and I had just started to feel successful in it, excited about what was to come. In my pitiful state of confusion, denial and adjustment, I felt cheated in a way. I allowed myself to wallow for a bit but then I told myself, over and over again that this little miracle was not only that but an absolute blessing. Last week, I went for a walk through the forest by my house. My inner voice reminded me that I had a choice, If I brought myself to the moment I was in, I could clearly see that all was well. I could choose to be happy. Each day now, I remind myself of that choice and actively, consciously make the decision to see the positive.
I am not sure what Phoenix Rising will become in the near future. I have convinced myself to stop thinking about it. I put out, into the universe, my intentions and desires, asking for whatever should come my way to be noticed by me as an opportunity. Things are changing, that's for sure but change is good. It shakes us up and brings something new into our lives.
I can honestly say that I am excited to meet this little one. In my belief, this childs soul and my soul decided on this way before I had even come into this life. I believe that this baby decided that I was finally the person I needed to be to guide them in their own life journey and what they will bring to my life will be a bounty of love and blessings.
My principles have truly come in handy I must say. I am so thankful to have them as my go to when I feel like I have lost my way. I hope that you will join me on this journey. I think that it will be enlightening if nothing else.